Used Car Salesman

     This year is the Space Invaders first year of school, the big Kindergarten. And I hate it.
      For about a month before she started school, I became full of an unexplainable anxiety.  Some experienced mothers, OTs(Other Mothers), and NTMs (Not The Mamas) told me it was normal to be worried about your little one being away from you in a strange new environment.  I was used to being away from the SI and for long periods of time, so this was not it.
      It was about a month into K-grade when I had my Ah-Fawk  Ah-Hah moment.  Along with a whole new level of smart assery, she began to bring home a variety of "items" for "her" to sell.  Which we all know means a bunch of crap for parents to push onto their co-workers and family members.
      Round one consisted of a fifty pound Entertainment book.  OK, maybe no fifty pounds, but it was damn heavy and especially to put in the backpack of a five year old.  I was instantly annoyed when reading the flyer's description of cheap prizes the child could win by selling X amount of books.  She is five, not a thirty year old balding used car salesman living in his mamas basement! The flyer did not contain any information of where this money "she" would be hussling for would be going to.  So the Sergeant made a call to the school's PTA president and asked her to explain where all the money was going....Thirty minutes later that answer amounted to "stuff for the school the state budget doesn't cover." Wanna take a shot in the dark at how many books we sold?
       Maybe a month passes before the second offender arrives, just in time for the pending holidays, Sally Foster.  Just like a good friend of mine from back east, some of you may be wondering: Who is this bitch Sally Foster and what is she pushing?  She sells WAY overpriced wrapping paper and chocolates.  Noticing a small glimmer of hope on this flyer, is that I have the ability to register as an "online seller".  Being an online seller entails creating a seller account under the SI's name that is linked to her school, then sending out a mass email to family, friends, and co-workers; I don't have to push around a magazine, collect money, or distribute product. Sounds easy enough.....Except the mother truckin website doesn't want to accept any of the passwords I give it within its required parameters.....

I quit.