Everyone Poops.... Air

It's one of those symptoms you don't find many preggos sharing out loud...constipation.... Hormones are making everything all loosey goosey down there, which you would think would mean massive diarrhea. No...because it actually takes a good amount of muscle work to move your...*ahem*.. stool, out your bottom. So loosey goosey muscles= no movement of your bowels. But you’re still eating, because Lord are you hungry. At least I am. Right around every two hour mark, my stomach is playing me the song of its people. So loudly that people miles away are wondering what that whale like sound is... it's my stomach. So all that food + lack of bowel movement = righteous preggo lady gas.

So the other evening, as the Sergeant and I are getting tucked in for the night, I meekly apologize for any gas I might have

Me: I am really sorry, I have been soo gassy all day
Sarg: That's ok sweetheart...everyone poops
Me: *Silent* (thinking I said gassy...not pooping...I mean, I am not planning to poop the bed...)
Sarg: ..Everyone poops..Air...It's like pooping air...(very serious voice mind you)
Me: giggling and gassing for several minutes